


it's not the destination

by doublydaring



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Road Trip, F/M, Implied/Referenced Incest, i wanted this to be lighthearted but nothing sparks a good romance like a terrible past, im just a slut for a good redemption arc, mild violence, very mild considering canon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-27
Updated: 2020-04-21
Packaged: 2020-05-20 14:08:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 8,956
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19378267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/doublydaring/pseuds/doublydaring
Summary: “In a rush, are we?”“You have to testify in New York in 7 days, we can’t fly commercial, too many security risks, you aren’t allowed to use a private plane to ensure you don’t flee the country, and all your accounts have been frozen until the trial. I am going to drive you across the country and you are going to sit quietly as I do so.”“You know exactly what you’re doing,” he smirks, “I like that. I think I am going to have the time of my life in your company and you are going to hate every second of it.”





	1. i

This had been the craziest week of Brienne’s life and the life she had led up until this point had not been a boring one, so that was saying something. She liked her job as a bodyguard, it suited her well, and she was good at it. More than that she liked the woman she was working for. The head of the Stark Corporation, Kate, was a kind woman if a little frazzled as of late due to the big merger the company was going through. She trusted Brienne though and Brienne trusted her so when it all started to fall apart it was only natural that Brienne was going to be tasked with something Kate needed to be executed absolutely perfectly.

All that aside, looking at the man she has been tasked to protect she wished she were in any other line of work. 

“You know when they said my escort would be a woman I was skeptical but now I understand, I can’t say I believe you’re human though, let alone a woman.” He smiles cruelly up at her with perfect teeth. 

The man standing before her is Jaime Lannister, he’s gorgeous and she hates his guts. The man in the suit with the earpiece who Brienne can’t but think of as his handler whispers something in Jaime’s ear to which he laughs.

“He says I should refrain from antagonizing the person responsible for my life but I don’t know, I quite like flirting with death.” The man in the suit sighs and takes something down on his clipboard. He claps Brienne on the shoulder as he starts to leave the room.

“Good luck dealing with him, if you end up killing him yourself I won’t blame you.” 

“I assure you, I will have no problem keeping him alive.” The man gives her a look of sympathy and leaves pushing the heavy metal door. Brienne and Jaime are alone now. She’ll have to get used to this.

“I promise you I will try to not be too much trouble, but such things really don’t come naturally to me as I’m sure you’ve heard.” He’s wearing a bright red leather jacket, a white dress shirt with too many buttons undone and elaborate boots that almost make him as tall as her. She has no idea how she’s going to smuggle this man across the country without anyone noticing. He seems to have been born to be flashy. The mischief in his eyes is unmatched. 

“So, when do we get going?” 

“As soon as possible, sir.”

“In a rush, are we?”

“You have to testify in New York in 7 days, we can’t fly commercial, too many security risks, you aren’t allowed to use a private plane to ensure you don’t flee the country, and all your accounts have been frozen until the trial. I am going to drive you across the country and you are going to sit quietly as I do so.” 

“You know exactly what you’re doing,” he smirks, “I like that. I think I am going to have the time of my life in your company and you are going to hate every second of it.”  
“Whether I’m enjoying myself is beside the point, I’m going my job.”

“Why you’re going to be just delightful.” He leans toward her teasingly and starts to leave the room. “Well, come on then, I’ve got some packing to do.”

Brienne expertly rushes Jaime past a group of reporters and get him to his penthouse in record time. He winks at the doorman slipping him a fifty in their handshake and walks jauntily to the elevator leaning against like the perfect picture of a romance protagonist. As soon as the elevator doors open he indicates for her to enter bowing his head and extending a hand, she submits, willing to sacrifice her pride if it means avoiding another argument with Jaime. He bounces on the balls of his feet at the elevator rises. The metal paneling is chic and simple she half expected the inside to be gold plated. His apartment matches up with her gaudy vision, as soon as the lock clicks into place and he gives the intricate crystal doorknob a turn she feels like she’s entered a world, opulent would be an understatement. 

A chandelier hangs from gold chains on the ceiling in the entryway, a large classical painting of Jaime and his sister sits at the end of the hall. It seems in poor taste now. The rich red wallpaper mocks Brienne, as Jaime leads her down the hall to his bedroom. Wide arching windows allow the sun from the east into the room. Brienne sits at the foot of Jaime’s bed as he digs through what she cannot believe is the content of just one man’s closet. 

“I remind you, sir, you are going to be sitting in a car for eight hours every day for the next week, I can’t imagine why you own so many pairs of studded pants but I discourage you from bringing them, you’ll want to be comfortable.”

“Such sound advice,” he says dismissively, laying out what, to Brienne, appear to be three identical dress shirts on the bed next to her, he smooths them with his hands and takes a step back as if to weigh his options. Unable to come to a consensus, he turns to her. “Which of these do you prefer?”

“With all due respect, sir-” he laughs heartily, doubling over.

“You have to realize, darling, all due respect is, well, none. At this point, I am not only on a trial for a crime but one of the depraved sort. Don’t flatter me.”

“Did you do it?” Brienne can’t believe she’s asking and she’s not sure she wants to know the answer.

“Yes.” She’s sure she didn’t want to know the answer. The way he says it isn’t like him, it isn’t like the Jaime she’s seen. It’s sad and ashamed. Shame doesn’t suit him. In a second, it has passed and he’s folding the shirts delicately and placing them in his suitcase.

“You don’t have anything less conspicuous? We really should be trying to fly under the radar.” Jaime shakes his head.

“You’re welcome to try to find something.” He gestures behind him to the walk-in closet. Brienne can’t say he doesn’t have variety, even a dress or two, but nothing a real human being would wear. very article of clothing has 3 too many zippers or is cut funny. After sifting through things for a while Brienne gives up and returns her attention to Jaime who is clicking the latches on his suitcase shut. 

“Are you ready to go?”

“Ready as I’ll ever be.”

They take the service elevator to the back of the building where an inconspicuous grey Honda Civic is waiting for them. Brienne watches as Jaime puts his bag in the trunk and gets into the passenger’s side. Brienne ducks into the driver's side and expertly pulls out and onto the road.

Jaime stares silently out the window as they take the on-ramp to the I-80 East. 

This is going to be a long trip.


	2. ii

About 15 minutes in Jaime places his hand on the dial of the radio and looks silently up at Brienne for her approval. She nods. He smiles and tunes it to an alternative station. Brienne raises her eyebrows.

“What?”

“Everything about you screams top 40.”

“Hey, I have some depth of character, you don’t know me, we’ve known each other hardly an hour, I assure you I am a more nuanced man than you think. Being ugly doesn’t make you inherently interesting, we haven’t even left the city and you’ve bored me half to death.” Brienne turns up the radio. “Oh darling, don’t take it too hard, I have incredibly high standards.” Brienne takes the high road and doesn’t mention the fact he just admitted to having been fucking his sister.

Jaime keeps quiet for a while, Brienne can tell it's hard for him. He drums his fingers against the faux wood detailing on the dashboard as they drive through East Los Angeles, the city starts to fade into the distance. They eventually stop for gas, Brienne gives Jaime some cash to go inside and pay for the gas as she pumps, she keeps a watchful eye as he enters but she isn’t too worried as the only person in the store is the teller, a bored teenage girl on her phone. He comes back with change and two little bags of candy. He gets back in the car and scoots his seat as far back as it will go putting his feet up on the dash. Brienne pushes his legs down as she enters.

“This is a rental.” Jaime just grumbles and shifts the chair back into the standard position. He opens the bag of sour gummy worms and puts a handful in his mouth. “Must everything you do be obnoxious?”

“Hey!” Is what Jaime tries to say but he’s got a mouth full of gummy worms and some of the tails protrude like an eldritch horror. 

“Oh, for God’s sake keep your mouth shut.” It takes him a moment but once he gets the gummy worms down he has his snide response ready.

“Make me.” Brienne just rolls her eyes and pulls back onto the frontage road. “All bark and no bite.” Jaime shakes his head. 

“Hm.” Brienne smiles to herself. Jaime leans forward in his seat to look her in the face. It is set in a calm disdain. 

“Oh? What’s that my dear?” He goads her. She doesn’t budge, just keep her eyes on the road. He pokes her gently. “Come on, I’m being terribly annoying.” They’re back on the freeway now, she gives him nothing. He flicks her. “Brienne, you have awfully thick skin,” he chuckles to himself, “I imagine you’ve had to develop a rather hardened exterior haven’t you?”

“Why is that?” She feigns ignorance.

“Oh darling, don’t make me say it.”

“You seem to take great pleasure in it not a few hours ago. What has changed?”

“Well, nothing I suppose since you asked, you’re quite ugly.”

“Now that’s the Mr. Lannister I know.”

“You drove me to it, I cannot be held responsible.”

“I have to say, you gave in rather easily.”

“We both know I never had any qualms with insulting you, I was simply trying to save face.”

“All about appearances aren’t you?”

“Can’t you tell?” He runs a hand through his perfectly tousled hair, Brienne lets out a quick breath which Jaime might have mistaken for a laugh if he didn’t know better. “May I ask where we’re stopping tonight?”

“Salt Lake City, Utah.” 

“About how long is that going to take?”

“Just over 4 hours.” Jaime sighs.

“I won’t burden you with an ‘are we there yet’ but I want you to know I considered it.”

“Very infantile, it would suit you perfectly.” Jaime whistles at that one as if he had a taken a blow.

“Oh! Good one Brienne, perhaps you’re not all brawn. Gotta have something rattling around in that thick skull of yours.”

“Don’t flatter me.” Brienne jokes.

“If you think that’s flattery you’ve had a hard life, honey.” Jaime sounds almost serious, it’s too close to call and Brienne had never been good at feeling things out or treading lightly so she takes the out and shuts up. Unfortunately, Jaime just takes this silence as a sign his words had affected her and he stays on subject. “You’ve got quite a few redeeming qualities.” Brienne ignores the underhanded compliment and soldiers on.

“Mr. Lannister, please, spare me.” She says hoping to put this whole thing to bed but is not willing to drop it.

“You’ve probably led a very interesting life.” He postulates, hoping to prompt her into elaborating. She ignores him, hoping he’ll drop it. “Not a tale of romance I would imagine but you’ve probably seen quite a bit of action in you line of work.” He looks up at her expectantly when she doesn’t reply he pops another gummy worm into his mouth and sighs. “Stubborn as an ox.” 

A few minutes pass.

 

“You really aren’t going to budge are you?” Jaime takes a different angle now, his companion's silence could make for a bit of fun. “It’s a shame really. We could have such interesting conversations. I’d quite like to hear your opinion on a few things, get a different perspective so to speak. You ever kissed anyone, Brienne?” Brienne squares her jaw, Jaime notices. “Ah! Interesting, interesting. I’ll have to get to know you better to figure out what that means but it’s a start nonetheless. I’d very much like to find out what makes your hulking form tick.” He laughs to himself and shifts in his seat to look out the window. 

The landscape has given way to the desert. Large tracts of land with nothing but sand for miles and miles. Jaime smiles, it makes him think of old cowboy movies. Mountains loom in the distance like an ominous portent of what's to come but they should be coasting along the flats for today. As night falls the whole world seems to glow red, the sun dancing low in the sky just behind the silhouette of the Grand Staircase.

“This place gets a bad rap but it really is stunning.” He has a hand out the window grasping the roof of the car and he’s leaning out ever so slightly to feel the dry air on his skin. Brienne nods, which is the best he could have hoped for. 

They pull into the parking lot of a mid-tier hotel, it towers over them illuminated by yellowing lights. Jaime follows dutifully as Brienne checks them in, smiling at the man behind the desk. When they get to their room he flops dramatically backward onto the bed.

"It is so nice to not be in that car." 

"Don't get too comfortable it's only the first day." Jaime lets out a groan.

"I am not looking forward to this."

"I can't imagine the destination is very appealing either." He rolls over and groans again pressing his face into the too soft comforter of the hotel bed. "Sorry, sir."

"No, it's all right, I've got to face reality sometime." He sits up rubbing his eyes and starts untying the laces of his boots. It's not late enough to go to bed but they're both worn out from the drive so Brienne follows suit kicking her shoes off and sits cross-legged on her bed. She has a bad habit of folding into herself to feel smaller. Jaime is the opposite. He sprawls out wide taking up as much space as possible. They watch a basketball game, too tired to argue over what movie to watch. Jaime falls asleep in his clothes and Brienne changes quietly in the bathroom. She was careful with what to pack, the self-conscience mind is ever working. She can't help but fear his gaze even though she's got an inch or two and more than a few pounds of muscle on him.  
She treads lightly as she can so as not to wake him and climbs into bed. Until she pulls the covers over her she hadn't realized just how tired she was. His silver tongue was more difficult to combat than any threats to his life. She wasn't used to having to be so quick with her words. The weight of the days falls on her and she has no trouble drifting off to sleep.  
Jaime wakes up terribly uncomfortable. The seams of his jacket have sunken red marks into his skin and he peels the jacket off as he sits up. It's early so Brienne is still asleep but he makes sure to pay her no mind. He pulls his shirt clumsily over his head and looks at the pattern it's left in his skin. The hotel's shower is an enigma as unfamiliar faucets always seem to be but he figures it out eventually. The water pressure is just barely too weak but Jaime knows he's spoiled rotten even though he'd never admit it so he makes do. The heat feels good washing over him.  
Brienne eases awake to the soft drone of the shower in the next room. She gathers her clothes for the day and waits patiently for Jaime to emerge.

He saunters out and it's such a cliche so she looks down at her feet. He's glistening, pants low on his hips, no shirt and he knows exactly what he's doing. Jaime laughs at the sight of Brienne turning so quickly away.

"Am I that repulsive?" He asks knowing it's quite the opposite. Brienne just huffs and Jaime chuckles as she forges past him to the bathroom closing the door firmly behind her.


	3. iii

He's staring at her but she refuses to look up from her plate of scrambled eggs. Jaime wants the conversation to start naturally but doesn't have anything to say so he keeps trying to get her attention in other ways. He clears his throat as if to speak hoping she'll look up and prompt him to continue. He pretends to have hit his elbow on the table hoping she'll ask if he's okay. Nothing works so he bites the bullet.

"You know, I thought I loved her." This gets Brienne's attention. She even sets her fork down.

"Who?"

"My sister." He paused gauging her response. She is, as always, unreadable. "She had me convinced I did."

“But you didn’t?”

“No, I’m not that crazy, she’s the crazy one I swear.” Brienne raises an eyebrow and sips her coffee. “She’s like no one else, but I didn’t know that because I didn’t know anyone else, she’s calculating. I could never keep up with her intricate plans and plots, I was just the face when we inherited the company, she was doing all the dirty work. I never had the tact she did but the investors didn’t care for her, didn’t like seeing a young woman with such power and she did nothing to convince them. She was cold and condescending. So, I made my only skill useful and talked to the old men about whatever they wanted to talk about. She moved all the money, wrote all the deals, I just got the signature, I couldn’t have done what she did if I tried.”

“You think they’re going to let you off scot-free on the alibi ‘I was too dumb to understand what she was doing.’”

“I think it’s going to lessen the blow.”

“I wish you luck.”

“I’ll take it.” Jaime finishes his scrambled eggs and stands up sharply, visibly rattled. Brienne stands more calmly and follows him to put their dishes on the counter and leave the hotel’s restaurant. She follows as he walks too quickly down the stairs nervously tapping his fingers against his leg. Jaime loves to talk but hates having something to say. Things boil up inside him and he turns them over and over, trying to perfect his delivery, until their smooth like river rock, so dulled they no longer get the point across. It is in rare moments like these that unrefined bits of jagged truth slip out and he has to face the fact that not everything can be spun to sound just how he likes it. Everything Brienne says is like this, no thought is put into how things will seem to others. She simply speaks the truth, from her lips to God’s ear. 

On the road again, the desert reassures Jaime, it’s nothing like where he’s from the lush rolling hills of the estate where he was raised. It is comforting to be so starkly separated from his childhood, his family, from Cercei. 

Brienne misses the coast, she grew up by the sea and feels deeply connected to it, the dry of the desert makes her feel irritable and uncomfortable. She drums her fingers against the steering wheel as they drive, just a little too fast over the long flat straits of highway that span that great salt lake. Jaime’s right arm hangs out of the window and his fingers flit through the wind.   
“You ever been out here before?” Jaime asks.

“No, my works tends to only take me to big cities, not too many people looking for a bodyguard in middle America.”

“I suppose so.”

“You?”

“What?”

“Ever been out here before?”

“No, can’t say I know much besides you know, Mormons and big rocks.”

“I don’t know much more than that myself.”

“Poor Utah.” Jaime sighs as they pass over state lines into Colorado.

“Do you have any exciting facts about the state of Colorado?”

“Uh… weed?”

“Yeah, me neither. I suppose that’s alright though because we aren’t going to stop here.”

“Really? I have to go to the bathroom.”

“Already? You really are a burden Mr. Lannister.”

“I just adore how you call me a burden and ‘Mr. Lannister’ in the same sentence.”

“Force of habit, under any other circumstances you would be my boss.”

“Please, we both know you’re too high and mighty to work for a scoundrel like me.” He gesticulates with exaggerated bravado. 

“I’m quite content with my current employer.”

“Anyway, call me Jaime.”

“I won’t.” 

“You will.” He smirks.

His eyes bore into her with what just yesterday she would have said was a predatory gaze; like he was a fox, confident and calculating, and she an unsuspecting rabbit. Now she can sense something behind it he doesn't want to catch her he wants to have and to hold her. It is an unfamiliar feeling, she has never been the object of genuine desire she has always been an object, a trophy to be won or in her case a combatant to be conquered. 

She covers the break as she merges, ever a cautious driver, and takes the closest off-ramp pulling into a gas station on the edge of a desolate town. It seems to consist almost entirely of a trailer park and as Jaime walks around to the back of the convenience store toward the bathroom. Brienne watches a man filling the tank of his pickup truck spit on the ground. In to heat it fizzles against the asphalt and evaporates in an instance. He shoots Brienne a courteous smile over the bed of the truck.

“Hey there Ma’am,” She nods back in acknowledgment hoping to avoid a conversation but rural folk aren;t keen on yielding. “I imagine you’re just passing through. It’s a rare thing somebody is here to stay and your friend there,” he gestures to where Jaime had gone with a jerk of his head, “doesn’t seem the type to appreciate the virtues of a quaint little place like this.”

“We’re on our way to New York.”

“Really? That’s quite a trek. It’s been an awful long time since I heard about somebody driving cross country, I know that on account to your California license plate. In my youth I could do it in three days. Don’t know why I wanted to though, it was always an awful grueling three days.”

“I can’t say I’m finding it entirely pleasant either.” She says as Jaime makes his way back toward the car. “I’m going inside to pay, stay in the car.”

Just as the door swings shut behind her the man perks up, an unreadable expression on his face. He stops Jaime as he goes to cross between the pumps. 

“Say, don’t I know you from somewhere.” He looks him up and down. “You’re all dolled up, you in some TV show or something.”

“As a matter of fact you may have seen me on the television but I am not an actor.” Jaime holds out his hand to shake, somewhere deep down he knows he should have just shaken his head and got in the car but he couldn’t help himself. “Jaime Lannister.”

“Oh, I know you, you’re one of those fellas who’s rich and famous for being rich and famous, aren’t ya’?” Jaime frowns. 

“I suppose you could say that.” Brienne comes back out fiddling with the coins she’d been given as change in the pocket of her jacket. That man turns to her.

“You didn’t tell me you were towing a celebrity along with ya.” Brienne hesitates, glaring at Jaime, she’d wanted to give him some breathing room. She’d assumed he’d be smart enough not to let on who he was lest word gets out that the man with whom a considerable portion of America’s economy hung in the balance was completely vulnerable in a gas station bathroom that hardly locked.

“Mr. Lannister, get in the car.” Jaime does with considerable indignation. Brienne nods at the man and peels out of the gas station and back toward the freeway on-ramp. “Never reveal your identity to anyone no matter how harmless they may seem.”

“As much as you believe everyone you meet to be a scheming lunatic after my head, interacting with every living person as if they are such is simply no way to live one’s life.”

“It is my job to protect you, I lent you some free reign and you couldn’t handle it so, from now on we aren’t separated, even if it is terribly inconvenient. In my line of work we live and die by the code, better safe than sorry because all it takes is one lunatic.” 

Brienne kindly omits that she isn’t actually worried about lunatics. She’s worried about hitmen. Hitmen paid by one very powerful sister trying to prevent his testimony from reaching the stand.


	4. iv

Brienne keeps Jaime on a short leash, this irks him more than he anticipated. He can feel her breathing down his next. Her eyes on the back of his head and he passes through the automatic doors of the hotel. She keeps a protective hand on his shoulder as they check-in. He feels small under her watchful eye. Despite this, the night passes without event. He doesn't try to make conversation as he usually would being too annoyed to bother.

Tonight Jaime changes into his pajamas and tucks himself snug under the covers to get a good night's sleep and hopefully wake up with Brienne in a better mood.

Brienne changes into more comfortable but still workable clothes she's on alert now, having made herself paranoid.

It turns out she was right to be. She wakes up at 7 but lets Jaime sleep as she packs her things. At 7:30 there's a knock on the door. As silently as she can she walks to the door. Through the peephole, she sees a man wearing a suit that she clocks as having kevlar sewn into. Keeping calm she walks over to the bed Jaime is still fast asleep in.

She places a hand over his mouth and shakes him awake. Being who he is he raises his eyebrows in mocking suggestion upon seeing the state he's women up in. Brienne's severe expression doesn't even budge to be annoyed and he catches on that something real may be at stake. He carefully stands up feeling his feet sink into the carpet of the hotel room as he tries to take his weight off the bed slowly so it doesn't creek.

There's a second knock on the door. Jaime's head turns at the sound of it and then whips back around to Brienne. He scans her face wildly looking for any hint of information. As still as a stone statue she gives none. Just puts her backpack on the shoulders and sends him out the window. Luckily they're only on the second floor and while Jaime may have never faced a situation quite like this before he's decently athletic and should be able to make it down without too much trouble. Brienne hands him the car keys with whispered instructions to start it and wait for her. He puts them between his teeth and starts to climb down.

A third knock comes and Brienne's head swivels as a bullet passes through the door, goes whizzing past her head and gets lodged in the molding of the window frame. Jaime has reached the ground now and is booking it toward the car. Brienne sets down hyper-aware of the gun in the holster at her thigh. She is comforted by the sound of the engine revving to life but it's followed all too quickly by the sound wood splintering as the door to their room is kicked in. She jumps in the passenger's seat as Jaime pulls out, the tires screeching. The man in the suit hits the asphalt behind them heavy and Brienne pleads with the car for her window to roll down faster as the man begins to stand again and take aim. He's too late as an expertly placed bullet hits him right between the eyes. Brienne smiles, hanging out of the window and Jaime watching in the rearview mirror whoops in delight. As Brienne gets back into her seat she watches the adrenaline and with it the joy fade from his body.

His heavy breathing is less excited and more pained.

"That man is dead." As the words escape his mouth Brienne realizes it doesn't sound like anything she's ever heard him say. It isn't the polished, suave Jaime she knows his breath is ragged, his eyes are wild and a knot starts building in her stomach. Jaime isn’t like her, he isn’t hardened by combat training, by killing, by insults and attacks. In her eyes, Jaime is soft, despite the jawline, despite the persona. She looks over at him and as she looks closer she realizes she isn’t entirely right. Jaime has his fair share of scars, a long thin line of raised, hardened skin runs from just below his jaw down past the collar of his shirt, his hands are adorned with similar markings, especially around the knuckles, and Brienne would bet money she could find a plethora more given the chance. She realizes that he has gone through life just like she has and maybe he had it cushier than her but that’s not to say it was easy. Brienne was never a woman of subtlety. When someone hit her she hit back twice as hard, it becomes clear to her now that Jaime never had that option. He had to suffer the attacks to him in prim and proper silence.

“That man is dead and you killed him.”

Jaime’s voice pulls Brienne back to their current situation.

“Yes, I did.” She tries to keep an even keel for his sake. “I am simply doing my job.” She punches a number into her phone, she has a number to call when messy situations like this that need cleaning up.

“Have you ever done that before.”

“Yes.”

“Often?”

“No.”

“Does it get easier?”

“As much as I hate to say it, yes, it does.” Jaime doesn’t talk for too long. He’s clearly shaken but trying to keep a brave face.

“I didn’t think it would ever come to this.” Brienne keeps quiet, giving him space to elaborate. “I hate to admit it but I’m relieved, I still had a sick sort of guilt about selling her out, she’s family, she’s more than that, and she was a twisted woman but we were still tied. I’m glad she cut me loose.”

“After everything you weren’t going to testify until she did this.”

“The straw that broke the camel’s back so to speak.” He furrows his brow. “No, that’s not it, I think that until this point, the fear, the undeniability it didn’t seem real to me. She’s done innumerable terrible things but never to me, never in front of me, I was coddled, kept in the dark. This is blatant, she’s got nothing to lose and she has just proven unequivocally that she is beyond saving.”

“You didn’t answer my question.”

“I didn’t think I would be able to. I told myself that no matter how hard I tried no matter how resolved I was to put her away when I got on that stand she would break me like she has a thousand times before and I would say she hung the moon.”


	5. v

Jaime is restless and paranoid at dinner and he doesn’t sleep at all that night. Brienne doesn’t blame him, she’s not completely comfortable herself but coming down from the adrenaline hits her hard and she’s out like a light the second her head hits the pillow. Jaime is up and dressed when she wakes that morning even though it's early. He’s sitting in the armchair facing her bed and bouncing his knee a mile a minute.

“I hate to be a bother,” he says hesitantly as she stirs, “but I’d really like to get going if you don’t mind.” Brienne learns that compliant respectful Jaime is depressing and she’d much rather he be an arrogant child. They’re out the door in record time. 

Brienne finds herself trying to carry the conversation, a role that doesn't suit her. 

“I thought you said you were relieved.” Jaime looks at her surprised.

“I thought you told me to keep my mouth shut.”

“What can I say, you’ve grown on me.” Brienne indulges him and a light flickers back on behind his eyes.

“I am relieved,” Jaime says the picture of tranquility, “but I’m also so fucking angry.” Brienne almost wants to laugh. “I’m so unbelievably stupid, so blind to have not seen her operating under my nose all these years.”

“You keep saying that but I’ve seen very little evidence to back it up.”

“That I didn’t know? I’ve told you once I’ve told you a thousand times she was a conniving-”

“No, that you’re stupid, you keep saying that.” Jaime looks at her, dumbfounded. “In fact, it is the only fault you seem to be willing to admit and it doesn’t even apply. You’re very quick-witted.” Brienne can tell as Jaime’s eyes glance over her he’s tearing himself apart trying to decide whether he should make a joke or break apart entirely. He ends up somewhere in between.

“I think my teachers would say otherwise.”

“Not a great speller?”

“How’d you know?”

“You mixed up the a and the i in your own name on the check last night.” Jaime gives Brienne the most genuinely sheepish look she’s ever seen in her life and her heart breaks for him. “You must have had access to the best tutors in the world.”

“Well I started elementary in the best private school money could buy and just couldn’t cut it so my dad hired this guy, a real stickler, super traditional and I was his worst nightmare because no matter how much he yelled, how much her slapped me with his ruler, and lectured me it was utterly apparent that I could not read, but my father refused to admit that anything was wrong with me so I cycled through what seemed like infinite tutors and governesses progressing at a snail's pace.” 

“What changed?”

“The old bastard finally died and I let go of my pride and took night classes for adults with dyslexia.”

“Good on you.”

“Never told anybody about it before, not even Cersei, she was a model student and found my inaptitude incredibly frustrating.”

“Well, I can’t do basic arithmetic for shit.” Jaime laughs and Brienne feels like they’re back on track. Jaime visibly relaxes, cracking the window. They’re in cornfield country now and Brienne is driving ten miles over the speed limit on the deserted highway. 

“I think I could get used to this.” Jaime smiles as they wind rushes past them “Living in the middle of nowhere, we could be cozy.”

“We?”

“Yeah,” the tips of Jaime’s fingers ghost over Brienne’s calloused knuckles resting on the gear shift in the center console of the car. She shivers. “You’d have plenty of room to throw axes or whatever you do for fun.” She laughs.

“You think you could cut it as a farmhand?”

“I’ll have you know I was an expert equestrian as a child, I ran dressage at a national level well into my teens.”

“You ever have to muck a stall?”

“You got me there.”

Brienne finds herself leaning into Jaime’s words when they eat dinner that night like she’s terribly interested in what he has to say like they’re on a date. She hopes he doesn’t notice. That night when she’s leaning over to untie her shoes he comes and sits on the edge of the bed beside her. As she rights herself, kicking her shoes off, their arms are flush up against each other. She hates that that stirs something in her, that she is distracted by such things, that she is so childishly optimistic. When Jaime turns to her his face just centimeters from her own in a picture-perfect grin it takes everything in her to keep tears from welling in her eyes.

When he runs a warn soft hand down her arm to her hand and takes it in his playing with her fingers she is frozen staring at him. He cocks his head at her.

“I something the matter.” Brienne does not know how to answer.

When Jaime slowly brings her hand to his lips and places a chaste kiss on her rough skin she cannot take it any longer and a tear escapes her eye. She stands defiantly.

“Don’t mock me, Mr. Lannister.” He looks startled.

“I’m not mocking you.”

“Don’t think I’m so naive, so foolish to entertain the idea of,” she gestures wildly with her hands, “of this.”

“I’m sorry I don’t think I’m following.” 

“Do you know how many dates I’ve been asked on?”

“Oh dear, is this a first for you?”

“Thousands, I have been approached by more men than I can count about romantic dinners and candlelit serenades.” Jaime narrows his eyes in confusion. “Do you know what they all had in common?”

“No?”

“A group of snickering friends at the other end of the bar and twenty bucks that said they wouldn’t do it.” 

Jaime doesn’t know what to say so he raises a hand to her face and brushes away the tear as delicately as he can with the pad of his thumb.

“I’m sorry.”


	6. vi

It has been a point of much rumination in Brienne’s life that she has never felt delicate. She has never been dainty or graceful, but as Jaime gazes down at her with an unyielding gentleness in his eyes for the first time she is the china shop and not the bull. She is a statue of a goddess, larger than life, weathered by time and toil, and the smooth stone that shapes her form has stood unmoving and cold beneath the hands of man since the day she was sculpted. She has not moved since Jaime wiped away her tear and he stands over her now. 

“Brienne?”

“Yes?” Her voice is raw from trying too hard to hold back sobs. 

“I feel as though I am responsible for your current state.”

“Oh, Jaime you are, in the most wonderful way you are.” 

In a single moment, Jaime is swept off his feet and suspended in the air, in this moment he is birthed into a new world, a perfect world of light, where he lives unmolested by the trials and tribulations of a past or future. For a moment Jaime Lannister experiences nirvana and it’s all because he heard his name on her lips. He always thought Jaime was a childish sort of name, not fit for a grown man, not one of his stature, of his importance, he doesn’t mind it now in fact now he is sure it was bestowed upon him by the gods to be spoken in exactly the manner Brienne just uttered it.

“Jaime?” She asks when he does not respond and it is here she realizes what she has done and looks surprised, covering her mouth as if to keep the words in. “You got me on that one.” Jaime lets out a hearty laugh, it’s all he can muster. Some times call for more joy than words can express. “I really do feel silly, shouldn’t you be schmoozing.” 

“I prefer to think of it as charming.”

“Whatever helps you sleep at night.” Jaime places a hand on either side of her face and takes her in. Brienne’s whole face goes red. “I never liked to be looked at.”

“Isn’t this different than all the times before?”

“I suppose, that doesn’t mean it’s not hard.”

“You have the most beautiful eyes.” They flutter to meet his but she frowns.

“They’re the only thing I ever got compliments on.”

“You have the most beautiful hair.” A hand cards through the longer strands of blonde hair that frame the front of her face. She turns her head down and away so she doesn’t have to face him. He slides his hands down the back of her neck and onto her shoulder blades. “You have the most beautiful back.” Jaime worries for a moment as she continues to sit perfectly still but after a moment she places a hesitant hand on his waist. He leans forward and pulls up the back of her shirt ever so slightly so he can place a kiss on the skin there, She shudders as he does and then he withdraws. He sits on the edge of the other bed and begins to untie his shoes. He slips into the bathroom and emerges a few minutes later in soft sleeping clothes. He stands still for a moment in contemplation before Brienne extends a hand.

He lays carefully beside her. Neither of them makes a move to reach out toward each other. This is enough. Jaime feels like any more might kill him and he has to fight back a laugh at the thought. Not three hours ago he was a billionaire playboy, what’s that they say about guys and dolls?

Brienne’s breathing is remarkably even for someone so crushingly nervous as she is. She is both blissfully and acutely aware of Jaime’s presence a foot to her left. She can feel his warmth and hear the rise and fall of his chest but she doesn’t dare look over at him. 

Jaime is a comforting presence but not so comforting she doesn’t hear the heavy boot-clad footfalls in the hallway.


	7. vii

It is the most recent rude awakening in a life that, in Brienne’s opinion, has been disproportionately full of rude awakenings. She sits up and Jaime follows, with a half worried look on his face. She loves that, to her, there is nothing more appealing than emotional vulnerability. Her whole life she has been lied to again and again by men, it is an incredible experience to see one tell the truth. It is healing to watch verity slip from Jaime’s lips in a quiet concerned “What is it,” a wound, created by her father, salted and spit on time and time again by false suitors and ill-intentioned employers is sewn shut. It will be a scar she always bears, a reminder of what they have done to her but she is no longer the victim, the perpetrators are serving their penance.  
She stands, slipping her feet into her shoes as she scans the room. There are no doubt men waiting outside the window after their daring escape last time. Luckily for them, there is an adjoining room and Brienne opens the door on their side as quietly as possible and sets to work on the lock. Jaime gets the message and puts his own shoes on in silence. They can hear men talking outside the door but not what they’re saying.

There is a comfort in the unknown, they could be discussing anything, the continental breakfast served at the buffet the morning before had been disappointing, rubbery eggs. Brienne hears the word “target” worm its way through the walls and the illusion is lost but for a moment ignorance was bliss. Jaime’s perched behind her now, bouncing on the balls of his feet as she aligns the pins and the door slides open, to their luck there’s no one in it.

They move swiftly, like thieves in the night, encountering only one occupied room, not too many people stay in shitty hotels in Ohio in late February. The woman is fast asleep, facing away from them on the bed and Brienne works more efficiently than she ever has in her life. They reach the end of the floor and realize that while their odds are increased they still have two terrible options ahead of them.  
Brienne peaks out of the window through the gap below the blinds so they aren’t revealed by any movement. There are men in dark sunglasses all along the exterior landscaping that lines the parking lot in front of the hotel. 

They’ve narrowed it down to one option.

“Hey,” Jaime is gesturing for her to come to look through the peephole in the door. In the blurry fisheye lens, she can just make out the words on the door across the hallway from them, “stairwell.” Jaime grins at her with such glee for a moment she feels as if they aren’t going to be assassinated. They consider disguises very briefly but no itchy hotel bathrobe is going to distract from two built, over six foot, blond people who you’ve almost certainly been staring at pictures of with the word “target” in big red letters across the top. 

Jaime and Brienne, are given a deus ex machina. The sound of the door to the hotel room which they occupied not half an hour ago splintering. Brienne doesn’t think she just holds onto Jaime’s arm like she has never held onto anything before and drags him across the hall into the stairwell as the men in the hallway shout at each other about how they’ve breached the door and are entering the room. They rocket down the stairwell. No one seems to have noticed them in the commotion. They reach the first floor and are faced with a door to the lobby, knowing that just beyond it are a number of men they have no interest in meeting. They slink out the service entrance, but their car is parked out front. They stand for a moment catching their breath. Jaime is a wide-eyed doe. He has been in a fight before, he fought like a man with nothing to lose, because daddy’s money could make even the deepest of wounds disappear. It is with the sharp inhalation of cold air that Jaime realizes he is afraid to die.  
Brienne is not app repo to his period of reflection and is using all her strength to slam the dumpster behind the hotel into the wall. Brienne grabs Jaime’s hand as the sounds of men shouting move toward them. They turn the corner and see their car.

There is something pure about running side by side. Walking is defined as moving while having at least one foot on the ground, once both feet lose contact at once, you’re running. Brienne always loved that feeling, flying, for just a second not tied down by the heaviness. This isn’t the same. Brienne’s electricity is grounded because through the pushing and pulling Jaime is still clinging to her hand. 

He lets her go as he runs to the passenger side of the car and his fingers trail down her wrist. Her sensitive skin prickles. Brienne makes an incredibly risky three-point turn in the cramped parking lot and ignores the light on the freeway on-ramp. Jaime rolls his window down and laughs into the wind.

“I hate to say this, but I think we make a good team.” Brienne smiles.

“I know what I’m doing and you are good at being compliant.”

"I’ve heard that before.” Jaime is grinning at her, Brienne just shakes her head.

They do eighty for the next few hours and then slow when they hit traffic near Pittsburg and Brienne realizes they'll hit New York by nightfall and this will all be over. She doesn’t want to admit how much the thought knocks the wind out of her sails. She’d been running on a girlish giddy high for a few hours. The man sitting next to her is beautiful. His hair is just a little bit too long and every once in awhile a strand of it gets into his mouth and he sputters and tucks it behind his ear. He is remarkably flexible for a man of his stature and he sits with one knee pulled up to his chest. On a woman, Brienne would mark it as a defensive position, but men are so rarely willing to make themselves small she knows he’s comfortable.

He notices her suddenly solemn face and reaches out to place a light touch on her shoulder. Brienne knows he means it as a question, but doesn’t know how to answer it.

“Will you stay with me?” Brienne isn’t sure what he’s asking.

“During the trial, I’ll be no safer than I am now, you should stay with me.” Brienne takes a while to comprehend.

“I’d have to call Stark.”

“Quit.”

“What?” Brienne is taken aback.

“Quit, I’ll hire you myself, as a private contractor. You have a license for this sort of work don’t you.”

“How will you pay me?” Jaime looks at her quizzically and slams a hand down on the dash.

“Shit.” He hangs his head. “You’ll have to forgive me, I’m kind of used to being able to pull off grand gestures without a second thought.”

“Grand gesture? I hardly think asking me to follow you’re sorry ass around a courthouse is sweeping me off my feet.”

“I don’t know if I could sweep you off your feet.” Brienne looks over at him and his eyes, crinkling with joy. Coming out of anyone else’s mouth that would have been an insult, but Jaime says it with awe, with respect as if to say, I know who you are and I know that isn’t what you’re looking for. She smiles right back.

“Maybe not, but I’d like to see you try.”


	8. viii

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is short. i am sorry. i am very tired.

Brienne checks them into the hotel they’re staying in, she lets her guard down for the first time in too long when they walk past the state-appointed guards at the front entrance. She leaves Jaime in his room, they don’t have to share anymore, and goes down to check in with Stark’s man. He’s sitting on one of the boxy colorful chairs in the lobby. When she recounts their exploits to him he isn’t fazed, she’d been sending regular reports. She chose to take the company's disinterest in the imminent danger they were in as confidence in her abilities. 

She gets back into the elevator. Watching her feet tread across the bland carpeting of the hotel hallway she stops in front of Jaime’s room against her better judgment. She knocks twice and hears nothing for a few seconds and then the sound of a mad scramble to the doorway. Jaime opens the door looking small and soft, he must have already been sleeping. He’s got a sleepy smile on his face and without a word he guides her into the room.

“We made it,” he says quietly, already crawling back into bed.

“What do you mean?”

“We made it, you got me here safe and sound.”

“Just doing my duty.”

“Come here. Lay down.”

“You’re sure?”

“Yeah.”

“Me?”

“Is there anyone else?”

Brienne is still standing in the vestibule of the room. She’s nervous now, talking about everything has grounded her. She’s looking at Jaime and he’s like the sun, too bright to look directly at but, oh God, so warm. She glances at herself in the full-length mirror to her left. She is the moon, rough and barren, only glowing because she is reflecting his light. 

“I never thought someone like you-” she starts to say.

“We’re both just people aren’t we?”

“I suppose.”

“Come lay down.” She moves cautiously into the main room and sits on the bed opposite him. 

“Promise me.”

“Promise you what?”

“That you’re not making fun of me.”

“Oh Brienne,” his voice is full of emotion and it’s not pity, it’s compassion. “There’s no one here but me and I’m not laughing.”

“I’m not sure.”

“That’s fine, go to your room. I shouldn’t be pushing you.”

“Please do.”

“What?”

“Push me.” This brings a questioning glint to his eye. “I’ll never do anything if you don’t.” He looks up at her and she continues, the slightest bit of confidence-building. “I am a woman you know.”

“I know.”

“I am delicate.”

“I know,” and there is a soft hand gently trailing down her arm.

“I am soft.”

“I know.” a hand twirls in the light hairs on the nape of her neck.

“I-” and her voice falters. Jaime rests his hand more solidly on her shoulder. She takes a deep but shaky breath. “I want to be desired.” Then there is a gentle hand on her face and even gentler lips on hers. Tears roll down her face. She isn’t even thinking about how awful she must look; she's lost all higher-order processing. 

Jaime can feel her smiling against his lips. He pulls back, lowering himself onto the overstuffed hotel pillows, she takes off her jacket and shoes and gets into bed with him. He wraps his arms around her. She hadn’t realized how much time she had spent longing for this. She can feel him falling asleep already. It has been a hell of a week.


End file.
